Okay - first congrats on getting up to speed as quickly as you have on this project. Good to see you growing in confidence. Don't let this feedback dent that confidence, because really all I'm asking you to do is refine your designs and push past your initial ideas towards something more refined and understood. First things first - in terms of character design, the professionalised way of presenting animation characters is as follows - model sheets:
What this means for you is that while your current 3 pirate characters are fun and have lots of potential, you need to push them onto into characters we understand from a structural, 3D point of view. If you think about preparing these designs to later be modelled in 3D, you'll see how your current designs are only giving a limited amount of information. I also think there are further opportunities to accessorise and distinguish your pirates in terms of costume details. I think you need to do some more visual research into pirates and what we expect from them.
There are a few things that don't quite make sense in your story world; the first is the fact that you're including those trees on this desert island characterised by cacti. I know I gave you that influence of the 'lollipop trees' - but it was a reference in terms of simplifying your assets in a stylish away, as opposed to an instruction that your story should include these trees too. If your island is a desert covered in cacti, then it wouldn't also have these types of trees on it, would it? Again - look at your real world visual reference for clues as to how to keep your story world consistent in design terms. I know you're pleased with your cacti design, but it doesn't make sense that your concept art should a) show the exact same cactus everywhere and b) that all those cacti should be planted in rows. There is a sense here that you're not actually thinking enough about what you're doing or why - or what your story needs - it's like you're so relieved to have hit upon an answer, that you're giving that same answer to every question that follows. I've already given some advice that you need to explore a a greater variety of line-widths etc to give your drawings more dynamism and 'naturalness' - as while all your recent work is much more convincing - it's also a bit on the 'tight' side - a bit diagrammatic at times. Really, I'm just asking you to explore this new method of working and loosen up a bit - and try and think in a more truly 'artistic' way about how you're putting your designs together.
Just in story terms... I don't understand the bit with the parrot feather (when there is no parrot)? Do you need this bit? Does it have a purpose? If not, should it? Maybe I've misunderstood?
In simple terms, your story works - it just needs more style and more artistry and for you to relax a bit. I also think it does need to start with the pirate boat arriving on the island, so we understand that it's an island and that these guys are pirates.
OGR 10/02/2017
ReplyDeleteHey Jess,
Okay - first congrats on getting up to speed as quickly as you have on this project. Good to see you growing in confidence. Don't let this feedback dent that confidence, because really all I'm asking you to do is refine your designs and push past your initial ideas towards something more refined and understood. First things first - in terms of character design, the professionalised way of presenting animation characters is as follows - model sheets:
http://orig04.deviantart.net/3347/f/2011/072/b/0/brittany___model_sheet_by_s_c-d3bjmfy.png
http://www.minervaminkspondsidehaven.com/minmodelsheet/minerva2.gif
http://www.traditionalanimation.com/wp-content/gallery/popeye/popeyemodelsheet1.gif
What this means for you is that while your current 3 pirate characters are fun and have lots of potential, you need to push them onto into characters we understand from a structural, 3D point of view. If you think about preparing these designs to later be modelled in 3D, you'll see how your current designs are only giving a limited amount of information. I also think there are further opportunities to accessorise and distinguish your pirates in terms of costume details. I think you need to do some more visual research into pirates and what we expect from them.
There are a few things that don't quite make sense in your story world; the first is the fact that you're including those trees on this desert island characterised by cacti. I know I gave you that influence of the 'lollipop trees' - but it was a reference in terms of simplifying your assets in a stylish away, as opposed to an instruction that your story should include these trees too. If your island is a desert covered in cacti, then it wouldn't also have these types of trees on it, would it? Again - look at your real world visual reference for clues as to how to keep your story world consistent in design terms. I know you're pleased with your cacti design, but it doesn't make sense that your concept art should a) show the exact same cactus everywhere and b) that all those cacti should be planted in rows. There is a sense here that you're not actually thinking enough about what you're doing or why - or what your story needs - it's like you're so relieved to have hit upon an answer, that you're giving that same answer to every question that follows. I've already given some advice that you need to explore a a greater variety of line-widths etc to give your drawings more dynamism and 'naturalness' - as while all your recent work is much more convincing - it's also a bit on the 'tight' side - a bit diagrammatic at times. Really, I'm just asking you to explore this new method of working and loosen up a bit - and try and think in a more truly 'artistic' way about how you're putting your designs together.
Just in story terms... I don't understand the bit with the parrot feather (when there is no parrot)? Do you need this bit? Does it have a purpose? If not, should it? Maybe I've misunderstood?
In simple terms, your story works - it just needs more style and more artistry and for you to relax a bit. I also think it does need to start with the pirate boat arriving on the island, so we understand that it's an island and that these guys are pirates.